You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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