tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
