So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
