Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
