My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
