he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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