I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
