Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
