Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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