The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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