I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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