im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
