Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
