i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
