oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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