I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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