you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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