Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
