Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
