so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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