Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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