By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
