he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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