i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
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Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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