i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
