Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Send help, water and tortillas.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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