That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
