I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
