I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
