Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
