I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
