I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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