I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
