yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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