can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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