i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
