i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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