I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
