...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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