this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
