They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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