yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
