i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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