what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just high enough for therapy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
God I need to hump something, right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
