Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
