Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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