the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
