fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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