i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
