kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
