let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
