Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
