i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
