I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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