I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
