i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
