haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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