I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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