Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Boobs are out for the taking
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
