I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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