How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
