There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
