She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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