Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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