bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
