don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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