He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
