dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize